I know, I know–this blog is basically turning into “Greer Bitches About How Dumb Mysteries Are” dot com. BUT THEY REALLY ARE DUMB.
Today I read Dawn and the Disappearing Dogs. The premise is that one of the wealthiest men in Stoneybrook is no longer so wealthy, so he’s taken to stealing purebred dogs to maintain his lavish lifestyle. This is dumb for many reasons:
People who buy dogs, which can be very expensive, usually get puppies. Why would you pay hundreds of dollars for a purebred adult dog from a pet store when you can get a purebred puppy from a breeder for the same price? People who are fine with having an adult dog usually get one from a shelter. Stealing adult dogs to sell through a pet store does not seem lucrative to me.
Obviously Karl Tate is prepared to break the law and take beloved pets away from their loving families. Instead of the dog scheme, why didn’t he just do something with a little Bolivian Marching Powder, or get involved with the mafia? He does seem like kind of a wuss in the Super Mystery he appears in, though, so maybe that’s why. And it is a BSC book, I guess. Woody Tate, though, seemed to me like he might have had a few grow lights in his closet or something along those lines. But yeah, drugs are probably more lucrative than dogs. Or maybe he could have laundered some money. If you’re going to do illegal stuff, do it BALLS OUT, Karl!
A lot of this book was really stupid. OH LOOK, a green car that drives slowly! It must be connected with the dog-napping case! And of COURSE the lady who stole Cheryl showed up to the park just as the Krashers were playing their game. Coincidence is hard to pull off in fiction without it seeming lazy and unrealisitic. This book just left me with feeling of, “That’s it?”
Are there any Mystery books that AREN’T full of fail? I tend to like Claudia mysteries, I think–the museum one, the stolen painting one, the Janine gets a boyfriend one–they were always some of my favorites. What do you think of the Mysteries in general? What struck you as particularly unrealistic or lame?
